I sometimes wonder whether Samuel Beckett lives and whether Twitter conversations are actually his last, greatest and never ending play.
WAITING FOR FRY
Estragon: While we wait, what’s next?
Vladimir: I could mansplain something.
Vladimir: Let me put it simply in terms you can understand.
Estragon: Don’t be patronising.
Vladimir: You’ve got it.
Estragon: Got what?
Estragon: Oh, I see. Can only men mansplain?
Vladimir: Yes, only men can mansplain.
Estragon: Mansplaining sounds like fun. What happens if a woman or a transgender person wants to mansplain? Is there personsplaining?
Vladimir: Don’t be absurd.
Estragon: Maybe we could subtweet.
Vladimir: I can’t see what you mean.
Estragon: Make comments about people without actually referring to them by name. We are known for liking to wear hats. We could say “gee, hat wearers are pretty stupid for standing next to trees”.
Vladimir: But who would read these subtweets?
Estragon: People. People who know who the “hat wearers” are.
Estragon: For a knowing 3 second guffaw. People like knowing 3 second guffaws.
Vladimir: How long could we subtweet for?
Estragon: For as long as the subject of the subtweets provides material.
Vladimir: What happens if the subject finds out?
Estragon: Then you have won the game of subtweeting. The subject feels bad.
Vladimir: Reminds me of somewhere.
Estragon: Yes, school. School was fun.
Vladimir: Not for me. People used to look at me and point. I never knew why.
Estragon: I hope Fry responds to us soon. It’s been a while.
Vladimir: Has he ever responded?
Estragon: I know someone once who received a response.
Estragon: A friend of someone who knew someone who wrote a song once.
Vladimir: Which song?
Estragon: Maybe it was a retweet. Or a response. I don’t know. It was a while ago.
Vladimir: Then there is hope then.
Estragon: Yes. Always hope that Fry will respond.
Vladimir: I know. Let’s do some feelpinions.
Estragon: What purpose would that serve?
Vladimir: It would pass the time. Let people know what we feel about things.
Estragon: People? Which people?
Vladimir: People who might be interested.
Estragon: There are people interested in our feelings?
Vladimir: And opinions based on those feelings.
Estragon: Sounds like a good way to waste some time.
Vladimir: You’ve done it again.
Vladimir: Used the word “waste”. It’s a shut down word.
Estragon: Shutting down what?
Vladimir: People. When you say you are “wasting your time” on something, then you are denying that person’s words aren’t important. That they should be spending their time on “better” things.
Estragon: There are better things to spend time on than feelpinions?
Vladimir: Certainly not.
Estragon: With feelpinions, what happens if the person writing them in earnest and serious about them. Cares deeply about them?
Vladimir: Who are these people? Are they mad?
Estragon: Someone must have felt genuine feelings and not be so insouciant once upon a time.
Vladimir: Can’t remember. And who is Earnest?
Estragon: No-one of importance.
Enter Pozzo, accompanied by Lucky, dressed like a bird, on a chain
Pozzo: Are you two still here?
Estragon: Clearly. But I don’t believe we have met.
Pozzo: We have. We meet every day. You two are waiting for a response from Fry.
Vladimir: No – we have just arrived and thinking about the day we are to have.
Pozzo: It’s the same day. Every day. Waiting for the New Outrage.
Estragon: And what is today’s outrage?
Pozzo: The same outrage as it is everyday. People don’t agree. One person’s point of view is more valid than another’s. Just comes with a different word.
Vladimir: What is today’s word?
Pozzo: Don’t know yet. Yesterday’s word, yet again, a popular one, was privilege.
Vladimir: Who has privilege?
Pozzo: Depends on who you ask.
Vladimir: In what sense privilege?
Pozzo: In the outside world, there are social groups, privileged groups, disadvantage, oppression and so on. Real things. Everyday.
Vladimir: The privilege of background?
Pozzo: Yes. That’s the outside. There is now a chamber of words where the notions of privilege become warped and bounce around, so people accuse each other of being privileged in order to win.
Estragon: Sounds fun. Is there a prize?
Pozzo: A smug smile for 3 seconds.
Estragon: I would like to have one of those. (attempts a smug smile)
Pozzo: No, you can’t win the prize.
Estragon: Why not?
Pozzo: Because you don’t have a smug smile. The key to winning is the ability to desire a smug smile and know the pathway towards it.
Vladimir: You know this pathway?
Pozzo: Oh, yes.
Vladimir: Do you ever use it?
Pozzo: It is my life to see it. And then draw things about it.
Estragon: You draw? What things?
(At this, Lucky stirs and moves and makes a noise)
Vladimir: He doesn’t seem happy.
Pozzo: He’s never happy. But he’s useful. He’s coming up with today’s word.
Vladimir: He comes up with the word?
Pozzo: Yes. That is his purpose for being.
Estragon: Sounds like a waste… ah, curious spending of time.
Pozzo: Time is what we have. And a good word can be sustained for more than a day. There are certain words that can cause outrage for days on end.
Vladimir: Don’t people care deeply about things? Don’t they get hurt?
Pozzo: Yes. But that’s not my concern if they are too serious and earnest. They have no place being in the chamber.
Estragon: Cartoons only? Anything else?
Pozzo: I walk into a building with the word “Institute” on the door and write things of no consequence or care for what goes on as a result.
Estragon: Can anyone walk into an Institute?
Pozzo: Oh, yes. Especially if there’s secret people paying money.
Vladimir: What people pay for words like that?
Pozzo: People. I don’t know who. I just write the words.
Lucky stirs and looks at the others.
Lucky: I am tired of explaining the difficulties of what difficulties there is in a life full of qua qua qua and what seems to be the case is that really don’t want to understand and shut down the burgle burgle burgle of the privileged frizzle. Men like to mansplain because they are men and like to mansplain due to the participle of their mainframe and I have created a new way of thinking because everyone needs to be free why serious man person feelpinion Dexterpinion goat pinion kattergoat secretariat greg you missed the stop sign giants swans roos buddy bla bla bla sport.
Pozzo: It’s sport! The word is sport. A regular guest.
Estragon: What is interesting about sport?
Pozzo: Sport is always interesting. It’s a game. This chamber of words is a game.
Vladimir: But who wins?
Pozzo: Time wins.
Vladimir: What of the outside world. Don’t these things matter?
Pozzo: They do out there. Here, not at all. Here is all posture and echoes.